Appreciating success

Even when it doesn't look quite how we expected

Last year we had some building work done, and as a result we had new bannisters put in along our stairs and landing. I love a bit of decorating, so once the builders were gone we decorated rooms, and then started on the landing and stairs. Although we had new bannisters, the original woodwork and plaster were in pretty shocking state, so decorating was a big job.

And what with work and other commitments, the decorating took a long time. A full 6 months of days off and weekends painting. The builders left last Easter, and the carpet didn’t go down on the stairs until this January – it was long!

But I was super pleased with how it looked, and super excited to show it off to friends and family, to do the big reveal. So imagine my distress when my aunt who lives far away messaged out of the blue to say she loves how I’ve decorated my hall and stairs…

But hang on, I hadn’t told her about how I’d decorated my stairs, and I certainly hadn’t sent her pictures. Someone had been stealing my big reveal! Now I’m sure lots of you have experienced similar at times, the new job you were excited to announce, the pregnancy that everyone seemed to know about before you could tell them. And it stings – but hey ho. What’s to do.

But then by coincidence less than a month later, this same aunt was taken ill. For a moment it looked like she might not make it, and even if she did she might lose her sight. And suddenly, rather than annoyance that my big reveal had been stolen, I was relieved that she’d got to see the paint job I knew she’d love. I was pleased that our last interaction had been about that and the joy it had brought her.

This got me thinking about how it’s easy to get so hung up on how something happens, that we’re disappointed even when the outcome that we’d hoped for comes to pass. Perhaps the organisation adopted a policy you’d been campaigning for without giving you any credit. Maybe the event you’d planned didn’t go down as you’d expected, so you feel like it wasn’t a total success even though everyone still had a great time.

Sometimes it’s worth taking a moment to reflect and think about what you’re actually trying to achieve. And consider whether it really matters how you get there. Does it really have to be bells and whistles, flashy and showy, or are the quieter, subtler steps in the right direction that actually get you to exactly the same place. Or indeed, are there big leaps forward you should take rather than thinking it has to be a long hard slog.

Which is all to stay, let’s keep ourselves open to the good things; however they come about and not get too hung up on how they come to pass!