Challenging our beliefs

Letting go of unhelpful stories about ourselves

The other day my phone chose to show me a photo from the past – a photo of the pot plants on my desk at work which I’d taken about 6 years ago. And I remembered the week I’d taken it, which was around my birthday. I’d always had a spider plant on my desk, and for my birthday, a colleague had given me a baby Aloe Vera plant. That photo (above left) was to show I’d bought a nice planter to put it in and was looking after it. 

So far so nice you might think. But at the time, I was weirdly upset by that Aloe Vera plant. For years, I had only kept spider plants because they were so hard to kill. If you’ve never kept one, you can not water one for a month and it’ll just go pale and sad looking. But once you water it, it’ll pep right back up and be fine again. They’re robust and forgiving, both things I believed were essential to be looked after by me.

At the time, I truly believed that the spider plant on my desk was the only plant I could keep alive. By that point I didn’t even have any plants at home, plants at work are easier to keep going in my experience. So I was upset that I’d been gifted a nice plant that I felt sure I was going to kill.

I was not making an unrealistic judgement there, I actually was awful at keeping plants alive. It was not long before then that I’d killed a Christmas cactus that was a cutting from one my long dead (like pre me being alive) grandmother had had. But here’s the thing I had not taken into account. Just because you haven’t been able to do something before, doesn’t mean you can’t learn. 

The reason that picture was note worthy when it popped up on my phone the other day, was that I now have over 40 pot plants at home and at work, all of which are alive and thriving. And weirdly, I now seem to be the person in my extended family who is best at keeping houseplants alive.  So, seeing that picture, and remembering the anxiety behind it was a bit of a jolt. I’d forgotten how certain I was that I couldn’t keep plants.

Which is all a long winded way of saying, there are stories we tell ourselves, and sometimes they’re simply not true. Or maybe they’re true at the time, but that doesn’t mean that they can’t change. It doesn’t mean we can’t learn and grow. And just because we struggled with something in one phase of our lives, doesn’t mean we always will. 

Even if the belief you currently have about yourself seems to be true, it’s worth leaving the door open to the idea that it might not always be the case. Take note of the stories you’re telling yourself, and if they’re no longer helpful or serving you, then maybe think about changing them.